My hand turned me down
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
vagina is talking i cant
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
