hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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