So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
