Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
