I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
