how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
