I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
