Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
