I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
