I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
