So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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