I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do vagina's smell?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
