I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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