On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
