i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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