I'm drive I can fine osifer
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
