you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
