just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think i got beer on your cat.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
