i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
