There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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