Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
