Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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