u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
