I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
