Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
