I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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