My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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