So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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