I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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