Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
