my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize