I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
