if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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