Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
