ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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