I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
