We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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