this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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