Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
