I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
