that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
