i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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