i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
