I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
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I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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