Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
