We need to start having sex underwater more often.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
