There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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