hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
