Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Randomize
