Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it's great music for shaving your balls
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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