So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
