Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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