You just made me feel so damn special
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
