Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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