Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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