he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
