he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize