so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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