just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Are my feet made of real feet?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
