Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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