I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
