So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
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It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
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Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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