she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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