moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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