literally had 100 drinks last night.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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