gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Let's get the cat blown out
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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