Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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